Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
