I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
