i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
