Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
