I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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