I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
