whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
