I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
