Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
