:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
