dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
