Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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