you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
