i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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