wakey wakey hands off snakey
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
