if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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