what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
