Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
