I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
