Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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