Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize