i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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