Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize