I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
