he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
