as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
