do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
