Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize