No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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