Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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