i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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