the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the day after is always just damage control
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
