I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
