For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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