I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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