First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
