if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
