someone get that fucking seahorse.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize