I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
