She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
