So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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