so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My liver just had a heart attack.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
