Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
