i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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