I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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