I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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