Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
