I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
