Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
