Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
