I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize