Nicole vs. Life
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
