I'm gonna have a badass scar
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
