Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
