Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
