I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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