She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
