no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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