Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
