So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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