you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
