Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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