just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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