Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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