Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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